I’ve gone back and forth on this and would love some other perspectives on this situation. I have a 6 year old who is my only son. He went to daycare with another kid, let’s call him Jack. Jack and my son became best friends in daycare and now they go to separate kindergartens. I have hung out with the mom of Jack with our kids a handful of times and have invited them over for play dates, trick or treating, and have watched Jack when his mom needed to get things done. She is a single mom and has had a rough go of it. I know she struggles with mental health and relationships and just the general stress of being a single parent. I feel for her, I know it’s very tough. The thing is every time we hang out she talks and does not ask any questions about my life. I don’t think she could name 5 personal things about me in the few years I’ve known her because her problems are THE conversation. What breakup she is going through, health issues, money issues, parenting issues, work issues. We don’t have much in common except for the boys. Her son is not very well behaved, which I’m not judging her for it just makes it hard to invite ONLY the son over and I don’t think that’s realistic given he is 6. The relationship my son has with Jack goes hand in hand with having a relationship with his mom. I’m exhausted every time we hang out. It’s mentally draining. She cries half the times we hang out. My son asks to hang out with Jack, and I want him to have friends, it breaks my heart. But the mom is a lot. She has gotten very close to asking for money, and I had to change the subject because I know she takes Jack on expensive vacations. Again, not judging but I can’t fund someone and their kid. I feel terrible. I have been avoiding hanging out and she has asked me if I am mad at her or did anything to offend me. I’m not great at handling friendships in the first place, I have always been very shy and so not quite sure how to handle this. My husband agrees that she is a lot. Am I being a jerk? How would you handle it? I’ve just been very “busy.”

Roughly 6 years ago, I miscarried very early (about 6 weeks and a few days). I actually miscarried on my birthday. It was very hard as this was a planned and wanted pregnancy. We were very excited to be able to give our oldest a younger sibling. Finding out we were pregnant just before my birthday felt like the best present ever. Since then we have had 2 more beautiful babies. And all 3 of our kids are just so loved and we are so blessed to be their parents. But every year in the days leading up to my birthday and on my birthday I feel just such immense grief and sadness. And then I feel horribly guilty about it. Because I’m so lucky to have 3 beautiful earth side kids. And it’s been nearly 6 years and it happened so early and it’s something that happens to so many people. And so many people have much more tragic losses. I just don’t feel like I have a right to still have this grief 6 years later. I don’t know what I’m hoping for here. Maybe solidarity? Just knowing I’m not alone in this level of grief this many years later. My husband is so sweet and so supportive. It’s entirely me and my own brain who is the problem here.