Literally story of my life. I’m too scared to put myself out there as I have these negative thoughts that my presence is annoying. And then I get sad when said people don’t try to talk to me. We really are our worst enemies

Ah i see, that's fair too. While m not exactly looking for a diagnosis, i posted this in hopes that someone could help me understand what's going on with me. I agree that talking to someone would really help, but I literally don't know if I can ever talk about it with someone I know. In the past anything I opened up about to my family would backfire at me with no emotional support. When I finally opened up to my best friend trusting them to lend me an ear... i was ghosted and then my trust was betrayed. The only place i can talk about anything now is anonymously online.